School, Just Dance & Puppy Love

Alex has had some ups and downs when it comes to school work and her self confidence.  For English Lit she had to read a book (the first of many) and write a report on it. Let's just say she was, errrrr......, resistant to doing the assignment.  In the end, after a bit of drama, she did what was required, and in typical Alex fashion went above and beyond.  Her score?  100%.  Thank goodness as now she can see that she is perfectly capable of doing it (reading & writing English) even though she isn't crazy about doing so.  She has moved on to her second book & report and is willingly reading and thinking about what to do for the report which is due at the end of October.  She scored 105% out of 100% for a project in Food & Nutrition as well as getting the only 100% on a different project in the same class.  After a rough start in Algebra she is "getting it" now and should get a solid "B" in that class and a low "A" in her Algebra support class.  Science is a definite challenge for her and the jury is still out on Health.  

Her Dance Team practice started this week (2X per week) and she seems to be enjoying that.  She also has dance class at a studio two nights a week, so she is getting lots of dancing in every week.  She wants to play soccer, too, but it is going to be a tight squeeze to get everything in.  Even though the soccer games don't start until February the required conditioning and weight training start now.  Not sure yet how that is going to all work out, but I guess we will figure it out.

She has a Homecoming Dance next Saturday and we went out and bought a dress earlier this week.  She asked it two of her friends could come over before the dance so that they could do each other's hair and makeup.  Should be fun for her.  

I finally broke down recently and told my husband that we could get a puppy.  I was the last holdout as I knew the majority of the training, care and cleanup would fall on me, no matter what everyone else "promised" to do to help.  I said nothing to the kids about it, though.  We both decided that we wanted a Black Lab.  Now, I know I am going to catch a lot of flack for this, but Jeff and I both felt it was the right decision to go to a breeder and not adopt from a shelter.  Labs are known for having a few significant health issues and we wanted to make sure that whatever puppy we chose came from healthy parents.  I realize that does not guarantee that the puppy won't have health issues down the line, but it does give us much better odds of that NOT happening.  Anywayyyyyyyyy......I found a breeder with a few different aged litters about three hours from our home.  I called my mom and asked her if she could come stay with the kids last Saturday so that Jeff and I could go look at the puppies and see if there was one we wanted.  I told the kids we were going car shopping and they couldn't go with us on the test drives.  :)  I knew we would be gone all day and I didn't want Alex to have to be responsible for R&M for that long, so that is why I had Grandmom step in.  To make this already long story a bit shorter, we both fell in love with the same puppy and bit the bullet and got him.  He sat in my lap for the three hour drive home without making a peep.  As we got closer to home I mentioned to Jeff that we could name him "Jagger", as in Mick Jagger, because he was such a rockstar.  We got home, snuck into the backyard and let the kids find us back there.  They were sooooo excited at first because they thought we were puppy sitting for someone.  When we told them the puppy was OURS they were insanely ecstatic!  We mentioned the name "Jagger" as a possible name and everyone agreed that it was perfect for him.  As of today Jagger is just a few days shy of his three month birthday.  He sits on command, retrieves like a pro, hasn't tried to eat Sushi (the cat), sleeps through the night in his crate and is awesome with the kids.  We are working on housebreaking which is exhausting (mostly mentally exhausting....not physically exhausting) and other commands.  We did have to move Sushi's food and water bowl as Jagger just won't stay out of them, but so far that is the only issue we have had with him.  All this kids love him, as do Jeff and I.  I think even Sushi is happy to have another 4-legged creature in the house!

    

Congratulations.....

....Alex!  I'm now the proud Mom of a member of the first ever dance team for RRHS!  Way to go, girl!

Home Six Months

Today hits the six month mark that Alex and I got on a plane in Kyiv to head to America.  Home!  While Alex was so happy and excited to be home she also had a lot of anxiety and homesickness about leaving Ukraine.  She really missed, and still misses, her friends.  After she started school it really hit her that this new chapter in her life wasn't going to be completely easy.  Always before when she had been here on hosting it had just been a big vacation for her.  Entering school was a harsh reality check.  She was only in 8th grade for 2 1/2 months before the summer break.  I don't think she was really all that crazy about it.  She started high school on August 1.  We are now five weeks into the school year.  Overall, she is doing amazingly well.  Her classes include: English Lit, Health, Physical Science, Algebra 1, Algebra Support and  Food & Nutrition.  Her main struggle is with taking tests.  She had never taken a test in her life before starting school in America so she had no idea how to prepare for them.  I had a conference with her English Lit and Algebra teachers as well as the 9th grade counselor.  They were awesome!  They obviously want Alex to succeed.  Her English Lit teacher ordered her an English/Russian word to word translation book that Alex can carry with her to every class.  Alex gets an hour for lunch and half of that is spent with her Algebra teacher receiving additional tutoring.  The Algebra teacher even called me this last Friday to touch base and let me know that she has seen remarkable improvement in Alex' classroom work.  Both teachers were so impressed with Alex' drive and desire to do well.  She comes into each class and sits front and center.  She asks questions and participates in class discussions.  She *wants* to do well and succeed and it shows!  So proud of this girl!

The school that Alex is going to is a new one.  Last year was its first year with students so they are still building some of their programs.  This year they are starting a dance team that will perform at half-time of (boys?) basketball games.  Tryouts begin the week of September 12.  Alex is trying out.  As her mom I want her to make the team for all the usual reasons: I think she's awesome and would be perfect for the team!  :)  But in addition to that, if she makes the team I think that will be another step for her to really cement herself into school life.  She is making friends, but it is a slow process.  Being a part of a team at school will help her to feel like she is a part of something and not out there on her own.  And if she doesn't make the team then that is just another life lesson.  She was a superstar at her school in Ukraine.  Here she has to go out of her comfort zone.  Not a bad thing, but not an easy thing!  So...wish my kid some luck, will ya'?  :)

In the last six months we have definitely had our ups and downs.  The first few months weren't easy for any of us!  Now I can say that most of our downs are typical of any relationship between a 16 year old girl and her parents!  (Me: Alex, your music is a little loud...can you turn it down?  Her: (pout) It's NOT loud!  I can barely hear it!)

Ukraine will always be her homeland.  But for all of us, her home is here!

  

Not my typical blog post

My brain is feeling a bit scrambled today, so this post might be all over the place and get a little wonky in the process.

Some things have been said to me by several people over the course of the last few weeks and I wanted to take a few minutes to write this down.  First, adoption is not for everyone.  I get that!  I know that in this blog I tend to focus mostly on the positive things that have happened throughout this process.  There are a few reasons for this, but the main one is that Alex is 16 years old, has access to this blog and I have no intention of bringing up some of the harder struggles we have *all* had because that would be an invasion of her privacy.  So for anyone who is considering adoption, especially an international adoption of a teenager, please do not use the words that I have used here on this blog as any indication of what the entire process looks like!  This blog is a snapshot.  And everyone knows you only show other people the very best photos you have...not the crappy ones where you aren't smiling, your hair is a mess and you have a huge mustard stain down the front of your white shirt.  In my opinion, Alex is pretty amazing!  But...that doesn't mean that she doesn't have struggles and moments of breaking down.  Same goes for me!  I wasn't a perfect parent to my two birth children before Alex came around, and I'm certainly not a perfect parent now.  On the flip side of that coin, I'm also not a terrible parent and adopting Alex has NEVER in any way, shape or form caused me to be a bad parent for my two younger kids.  My husband and I did not adopt Alex as any favor to her.  We didn't do it because we felt sorry for her, couldn't stand the thought of her being on her own in less than a year or even "just because" we love her.  We adopted her on paper because she was ALREADY our daughter in every other way that matters.  She IS our daughter in every sense of the word.  My two other kids aren't my "own" children while Alex is just someone we added to the family.  I have THREE of MY OWN CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!  And if we were to adopt again, it would be for the same reasons.  We can't afford to just go around adopting kids because it's the nice thing to do.  So if you are reading this blog and haven't been through this process but perhaps assume that adopting is the "nice" thing to do, please let me make something very clear:  All of the people I know who have adopted (and through the wonderful world of Blogger, I know quite a few!) did NOT adopt out of the kindness of their heart.  They didn't adopt because they are saints on a mission to "save" children.  The children they adopted or are in the process of adopting aren't "lucky" children who won a family at a carnival game.  Families who adopt are simply FAMILIES!!!  So please don't label me as "nice" simply because I happen to have a daughter that was adopted.  And while I'm on the topic of labels, I'm also not crazy or stupid because I adopted.  And I wouldn't be nice, crazy or stupid if my husband and I chose to adopt again.

Moving on...I am a Christian.  I believe Jesus Christ, the Son of God, lived his life as a model for all of us and then sacrificed himself so that we can have eternal life if we accept it.  I don't consider myself "spiritual" or even "religious".  I consider myself a Christian.  A follower of Christ.  I do sometimes talk about how blessed I am.  But I'm not "in your face" about it.  So I am putting it out there that, yes...Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior.  'nuf said.

If you are thinking about building your family through adoption because it's easy, you need to reconsider.  It isn't easy.  It is beautiful.  It is joyful.  It is eye-opening.  It is life-changing.  It is NOT easy.  If it were easy, there would be no more orphans.  If you are someone who thinks people who adopt are crazy and just can't understand it, then you should think about the fact that you don't actually *need* to understand why people adopt.  You just need to accept it.  If you can't accept it, then at the very least, don't judge it!  When families adopt they DO think about how it will impact their lives.  They  DO think about how much more money it will take to add another child, or two or three or MORE to their families.  They DO think about the changes they will need to make and how those changes might impact other members/children in their family.  Sometimes things turn out just the way they imagined it.  Sometimes things go horribly wrong.  I can't say that every person who has ever adopted has thought out every single aspect of how an adoption might turn out, but I think it's pretty safe to say that nobody goes into it blindly.

*wheh*  I know this came out of virtually nowhere.  I am truly NOT trying to offend anyone, or make anyone feel bad because they don't understand the "why's" of our adoption and the choices we make.  Between some of the things that have been said to me and the things that have been said to friends of mine who have also adopted I just couldn't contain myself anymore.  If you feel like I am addressing some of the things you have said to me, well...I probably am.  Is this post because of *one* person's comments/concerns?  No.  Are these things I should have said face to face?  Probably.  But I chose to write it out instead because I *know* I am not the only person out there facing these issues.

If you are considering adopting a teenage girl from Ukraine and would like more information or to pick my brain about the process just let me know!  I won't post the nitty gritty details here, but I would be more than happy to answer any (legitimate) questions you have.

I didn't write this post because things are going badly with Alex.  Alex is doing great!  She is struggling a bit with school work now and I have a conference scheduled with some of her teachers in the morning.  She is really loving her two dance classes and is hoping to try out for the school dance team in a few weeks.  Trying out for the dance team is contingent upon grades, so hopefully she will be able to try out.  This Sunday in church the kids from the student ministries are supposed to dress up in '80s clothing.  I found a fluorescent tank top to go under a '80s-ish top.  I'm trying to find leg warmers, but have struck out so far.

end rant


   

   













     

So far, so good

The kids have been in school two weeks now.  Alex is doing well in her classes.  She is having her first math quiz today so hopefully that goes well.  She has two math classes this year, but the second class is a support class for her Algebra class.  She seems to be a tiny bit behind and may need to take advantage of the lunchtime tutoring that is offered at her school.  She gave her first verbal presentation in Health class yesterday and received 100% on that.  She is also receiving 100% in American Lit., although I believe that is just a "participation" grade so far.  Even though she hasn't received an academic grade in that class yet I am still incredibly proud of her because I know she is participating in the class and not sitting in the back row trying to blend into the wall.  She really likes her Food & Nutrition class and was the only student to receive 100% on their first project.  None of her other classes have entered grades in the online system yet, so I am not sure what marks she has received.  What I do know is that she comes home happy every day and sits right down to start homework.  I know that the classes will start to get harder the further into the school year she gets, but she has really hit the ground running and I am just soooooooo proud of her!!!  I think she will do well in school this year.  Math and perhaps science might be difficult, but she *really* wants to do well and tries so hard.

She said that the school, which is only in it's second year, is starting a dance team.  She doesn't have any information on it yet, but in her mind it is a dance team that goes on competitions, similar to what she did in Ukraine.  I tried to explain to her that it was more likely a dance team that performs at half time during football and basketball games.  She doesn't understand that many schools have cheerleading squads and dance squads and that they do different things.  Hopefully she can bring home a flier with actual information on it instead of just  reporting what she's "heard".

In other news, Alex is taking two dance classes this year.  She knows that she has to keep her grades up to be able to continue taking them.  She also wants to try out for the spring soccer league as well as the dance team that I mentioned earlier.  I'm not sure she's going to be able to do it all, but I think it's very important that she has something that is just hers and that she loves.  Her girls Bible study starts in September and she is excited about that.  She has been a bike riding maniac these last few weeks and has thrown in some sprint running as well.  I really wish I could keep up with her!

Is it bad that I am already counting down the weeks until their Fall Break?  It's five more weeks in case you were wondering.  :)  

First Day of School

I remember when Alex had her first day of American school back in March.  When I asked her how it went, she said "terrible".  Yesterday was her first day of High School.  When I asked her how it went, she said "not too bad".  Hey, I'll take it!  She went to her last class of the day, American Literature (English), and realized she had been placed in an 11th grade class!  Oops.  So, she had to have her entire schedule re-done.  She has the same classes and teachers, just at different times.

She received more information from her teachers yesterday about what supplies she would need for each class, so off to Wal-Mart we went to stock up on binders, folders, composition notebooks and loose leaf paper.  She spent about 30 minutes picking out what designs she wanted for everything.  Then we saw an end cap filled with Christian themed supplies.  She quickly ditched everything she had just picked out and selected binders, folders, notebooks and a pencil pouch with very cool graphics and Bible verses/themes.  As we were leaving the store she was talking about how much she liked her new supplies and she didn't care what the other kids at school might say to her about it.  She said she knew some kids didn't believe in God or Jesus and would say she wasn't "cool", but it didn't bother her because she knew the truth.  Have I ever mentioned what an amazing young woman Alex is?

Here she is with *most* of her school supplies.
Her backpack weighed *a lot*!

 

Here is a link to the company that produced the Christian themed school supplies:  Dayspring

High School Open House

Oopsie!

I took Alex to the Open House at her new high school this morning.  She met all of her teachers and I feel very, very good about her upcoming school year.  She will only have ESOL for one period, but her remaining teachers seem to understand her challenges with English comprehension beyond casual conversation.

While I feel quite good about her first year of high school, she is less than thrilled about going.  At one point during the "tour" she asked me how many years she would be at this school.  This is a good place to remind everyone that her education at her school in Ukraine would have ended at the end of her 9th grade year.  I told her four years of high school and I thought her eyeballs were going to actually pop out of her head.  She exclaimed that she thought it was just two years.  Now, I realize we don't talk about it every day, but I *know* I have told her that students go to high school for four years before.  I think this is one of those very important instances that she acted like she understood what I was saying when in reality she was paying no attention.  I also think she knows that *most* students graduate when they are 18, which for her is in two years.

Part of me feels a little sorry for her that this news was such a shock.  Part of me is slightly (and yes, I know this is mean) amused.  I hope think that once she starts, meets new friends and realizes that high school CAN actually be fun she will not be so upset about the whole four year thing.  If not...ughhh!  I can't even go there!

She starts high school on Monday...wish us luck and say a prayer!  :)  We're gonna need it!

End of summer vacation blues...

Alex had an amazing week being a junior counselor at camp this week.  It is a fantastic Christian adventure camp that focuses on being part of a team, challenging ones self and learning about God and His Word.  She was really able to connect with so many of the counselors there and has formed many new friendships.  She loves being there and is very disappointed that she can't do it again next week.  While the new friends and week of fun has been wonderful to watch her experience, the best part for me is that she is really making a connection with what having a relationship with God is about.  She has been "attending" church since we arrived home in March in addition to when she was here for the hosting trips, but being involved with this group of teenagers and young adults has been life changing for her.  It has been a beautiful thing to watch!  I'm very excited to see her grow in this way.

Next week is the last week of summer vacation for our school district.  The kids go back on August 1.  We have several doctor/eye doctor/dentist appointments lined up in addition to the "Sneak Peak" at the schools.    My two younger ones will learn who their new teachers will be and Alex will get her class schedule and locker assignment.  She is very nervous about going.  Every time the subject of going back to school comes up she audibly moans and starts talking about how she doesn't want to go.  I know she is scared, mostly about her reading capabilities and her English comprehension skills.  Conversationally she is remarkable.  In a classroom setting I know she will struggle at the beginning.  This is why it was so important to us that she get a few months of middle school under her belt before jumping straight into high school.  It will be a lot of work, but I know she is capable of doing it.  She just needs to start believing she is capable!

The hosting organization that we originally hosted Alex through, New Horizons for Children, is currently in the middle of their summer hosting trip.  All the kids that are in this country through NHFC will go back to Ukraine/Latvia on August 1.  I look at the kids photos on the NHFC Facebook page and think back to this time last year when we were excitedly starting the adoption process for Alex.  I know that there must be many families right now in a race to get their paperwork started in hopes of traveling to complete their adoptions as quickly as possible.  If you are one of those families reading this right now, congratulations and good luck!

If you are interested in being part of an amazing ministry by hosting an orphan from Eastern Europe, the Christmas hosting program will be here before you know it!  The NHFC team will be traveling to Ukraine and Latvia in August/September to interview children for the winter hosting program.  Keep in mind that NHFC is a hosting ONLY program!  While they would love to see their host kids be adopted, their first goal is to place these kids in a Christian home where they can learn English, feel the love of a stable family and see that there is hope for their future.  For more details on hosting a child for 4 weeks this winter, please visit: New Horizons For Children    

We are still alive...

Summer has absolutely flown by so far.  The kids go back to school on August 1, so they only have three weeks of vacation left!

So far we have:

• had Alex and my son's dance recital
• my 6 year old turned 7
• my 15 year old turned 16 (and it was also our one year anniversary of meeting Alex for the first time)
• we took a road trip to Colorado
• Alex met her great-grandmother who lives in Missouri for the first time
• Alex also met her wonderful Aunt Nicole and amazing cousins, Tess & Audrey in Colorado
• we went to a beautiful wedding in Vail, (Aunt Nicole got married so Alex also got to meet her new Uncle Mark, too!) spent a few days in Steamboat Springs and Fort Collins and drove all the way back to Georgia
• all three kids were in camp for a week with Alex being a junior counselor and the two younger ones being campers
• now we are in Florida visiting Grammy!  

Yeesh!  I have no idea why summer has flown by!  :)  And when we get back to Georgia, Alex will spend a day with the youth group at church working on a community project, then the following week she will be a junior counselor at camp again!

Alex is currently reading the driver's manual so she can take a test to earn her learner's permit.  It isn't easy reading and it has a lot of terms she has never heard before so it is taking some time.  (Fine by me!)  My hope is that this will be a good motivator for her to try very hard in school.  She is a smart girl and wants to do well, but she is also *very* stubborn and refuses to admit when she doesn't understand something.  That isn't going to be a good trait to have entering high school.

It's been a crazy, busy, but fun summer.  I'm not quite ready for school to start, but it really isn't up to me!  It's okay, though.  I love our county's calendar because even though they go back so early, they get extra breaks throughout the school year.  I love that!  Alex doesn't love it so much.  She is used to going back to school on September 1 every year.  She doesn't think getting the extra breaks is going to make up for going back so soon, but I image when that first break rolls around in September she is going to be very happy to have it!

Hopefully when school starts I can get back to blogging more regularly.  Until then I can tell you that the rest of our summer looks like this:

• finish our trip to Florida and drive back to Georgia
• Alex will participate in the youth group project
• drive Alex back and forth to camp for a week
• doctors and dentist appointments
• back to school shopping
• "Meet & Greet" at the schools where the kids meet their teachers for the younger ones and Alex will get her class schedule, locker assignment and hopeful meet a few teachers

I think next summer maybe we will stay home a little more often.  :)  I'm wiped out already!

  

Long time, no post.

Okay, I admit it.  I've been a very bad blogger.  Things are just so normal that it feels a bit odd to write about it!

We really haven't been terribly busy.  Alex had her dance recital last week and she did a great job.  She really enjoys the class and wants to take it again when the class starts back up in August.  We spent *all* day on Memorial Day at the pool.  Despite frequent re-application of sunblock we all got sunburned and spent the next four days indoors.  We celebrated my youngest daughters 7th birthday.  I took the kids on a road trip to visit family in Missouri and Colorado.  It was just me and the three kids as Jeff couldn't take time off from work.  Boy howdy is it a long drive from GA to CO!  The kids were all troopers (for the most part) on the drive so I can't complain too loudly. We are attending a wedding in CO up in the mountains so we are all very excited for that.  Alex' birthday is at the end of the month, and it just so happens that our one year anniversary of meeting her for the first time lands on her birthday!  Yep...she met  her family for the first time on her 15th birthday and gets to celebrate her 16th with her family for the first.time.ever.  My, what a difference a year makes.

And that is our last two weeks in a nutshell.  Nothing too exciting.  Just regular life.  No complaints here!