Daddies and Daughters

Today I had the honor of paying my last respects to a great, great man.  My uncle, George Coleman, died in the early morning hours on Monday, September 6.  He left behind a wonderful family whom he loved with every ounce of his being.  He is survived by his wife, three sons, one daughter and five grandchildren.  He had an amazing relationship with all of his children, but right now I want to talk about his very special relationship with his daughter.

Ginger was his youngest child.  She was the miracle baby that Uncle George and my Aunt Katurah never dreamed they would have.  His relationship with his daughter was one that should set the standard for Daddy/Daughter relationships.  Watching Ginger today say goodbye to her daddy was at once beautiful and painful.  She was truly blessed to have her father even though he was gone too soon.  She understood the love her father had for her.  She soaked it up.  She appreciated it.  She gave it back freely and without hesitation.  He was taken from her much too soon, and without warning.  If she had know that when she spoke to her father that last time that it would be the *last* time, I wonder if she would have said anything differently.  While I don't know what their last conversation was like, I do know that it was filled with the love they had for each other.  I know that she will mourn the loss of her father and their very special relationship for the rest of her life.

I have a friend, Des, who very recently lost her daddy to a long, painful battle with cancer.  She, too, was a "Daddy's Little Girl".  I never had the privilege of meeting her father, but I know he was a special man simply because of the way she turned out.  Because her father was so sick for so long, my friend knew that her time with her dad was quickly running out.  Even though he already knew it, she had the chance to tell him how much she loved him.  She also had to watch him slowly lose his health and strength.  I can't even begin to imagine the pain of having to watch someone I loved so dearly suffering so tremendously.  Honestly, I can't imagine watching someone I *don't* know suffering the way she had to watch her father.  But the love she had for her father carried her through it.  It has only been a few weeks since his death and I know Des is still heartbroken and lost without her daddy.

When I think about this journey we are on to make Olga our daughter legally, I really don't think about her birth parents much.  In my mind she is our child and always has been.  I don't know why her birth mother left her at the hospital when she was born.  I don't even know if her birth father knows of Olga's existence.  And up until now, I've not really thought about whether Olga misses the parents she never met.  Does she mourn the loss of a man that she has never laid eyes on?  When she was a little girl did she miss her mother brushing her hair and telling her how much she loves her even though she had never experienced it?  Until she came to live with us this summer  Olga had never been hugged by a mom and dad and told that she is loved.  Can you imagine?  The first time Jeff hugged her and kissed her cheek Olga didn't know what to do.  She literally hid under her covers.  But it became our ritual.  Every night we would tuck Olga into bed, hug her, kiss her cheek and tell her we loved her.  She learned very quickly that she really, really liked being loved.  And in those short five weeks, she developed that special kind of Daddy/Daughter relationship with Jeff that Ginger and Des were so greatly blessed with in their fathers.  I know that she will love Jeff the way Ginger and Des loved their daddies.  I have no idea if Olga has ever dreamed about having a family.  I can only hope and pray that Jeff and I are able to be the kind of parents that Ginger & Des' dads were.  To make the same kind of impact on all of our children would be an incredible achievement.  If we can do that, then I know that any dream Olga has ever had about a family will be far surpassed in reality.

I should also say that Jeff and I both have some pretty amazing parents!  I feel so incredibly fortunate to have my mom and dad!  They are truly wonderful, as is Jeff's mom, Judy.  Between those three, Jeff and I know how incredibly blessed we are!

S~